What’s going through your mind when you’re scrolling down your Instagram feed?
What are you saying to yourself when you poke around friends’ pages on Facebook? Or search for fitness inspiration on Pinterest?
Or even when you’re out at the store and see another beautiful, fit, kind, smart, successful-looking woman?
Next time you’re in one of these situations, make a conscious effort to notice your own thoughts.
Our thoughts are telling. They’re the thermometer for our hearts - to let us know what’s going on inside.
The funny thing about jealousy and comparison is that they’re so easy. Like water trickling downhill in an already-dug trench.
We don’t have to do much work to see the radiant, fit woman doing yoga on the beach on Instagram and think:
“Man! She’s gorgeous. If only I looked like THAT!”
Comparison is so easy. Feeling inadequate is easy too. It doesn’t take much extra effort.
But there’s good news!
You’re not a victim of your thoughts, or an innocent bystander, witnessing them passively!
You’re the captain of the ship! We can change what we think and do in response to feelings of jealousy or inadequacy.
Here are a few quick tips to turn jealousy and comparison into something beautiful instead:
1) Remember What Social Media Can & Cannot Show.
Social media, or even walking past a woman in the store, cannot show you the thoughts going through those women’s heads.
A passing glance will never show you the inner struggles of that woman. Or the work she’s done to get her body healthy and radiant. Or the relationship problems she wishes she could fix.
It can’t show the 25 other almost-perfect selfies that didn’t make the cut. Just the one that did.
Social media also can’t always show how a person makes you feel when you’re around them - and that’s a major component of being truly beautiful!
2) Compliment Her! Or Even Ask For Tips!
So often our admiration of another person ends in our own heads.
But have you ever thought of saying, "... seeing you really inspires me! How'd you begin getting so fit? Any advice for someone just starting?"
You can shift the feeling in your heart by giving a sincere compliment. And at the same time, you can learn how to have that thing for yourself.
3) "Your Aspirations Show up in Your Admiration"
This powerful quote by Danielle La Porte couldn’t be more true. Put simply, when you find yourself being jealous of another woman, you can use that to your advantage!
Whatever we envy or admire in others is simply something we’d love to have for ourselves. So, figure out what exactly you’re jealous of.
Is it the confidence she exudes in a bold outfit or lip color? Is it the athleticism and strength she shows doing yoga? Is it how she seems free to live a life of travel, instead of working in an office?
Whatever you admire in her is a clue to what’s most important to you. What step can you take right now, in this moment, to work towards having that thing that’s important to you?
I hope these ideas are helpful, and that today, you’ll grow into a woman who’s even more beautiful than ever before!
"Writer/ Songwriter/ World Traveler/ Accidental Documentary Maker / And soon to be a mom... Follow Kayte for fresh inspiration on how to feel beautiful everyday."